BY PASTOR SHARON ORTIZ, PASTOR OF EDUCATION
This past Mother’s Day service at ALCF was such a beautiful time and left me “full” long after. We could share thoughts on motherhood forever and still not be able to capture its essence. Some things are beyond our linguistic capabilities and always will be. Still, there are lessons and treasures we can share with one another through our experiences, so here are some musings on motherhood from my own journey.
Motherhood is a constant pivot. From the little things like a meal that you ran out of ingredients for, or that shower you were looking forward to but never got to take, to a phone call from the school nurse that interrupts and rearranges your whole day; to the bigger things like how the strain of parenting changes the dynamics of your marriage, the suddenly insufficient bank balances, or hopes and dreams of a “normal” life—play dates, little league, school awards, college, marriage and children of their own—that are stolen in a moment by a disability diagnosis; motherhood is a constant pivot. As a planner, things not going as they should is enough to make me feel like a failure. Again, and again.
Yet these years of constant inconsistency have given me an invaluable gift—that of surrender. Let me tell you, getting upset at every disruption is exhausting. The upset comes because I still want to be in control. When I acknowledge that I am not in control, however, and “ride the wave,” I have discovered some beautiful detours along the way. When I surrender to the detours instead of fighting them, it opens space for me to yield to God and allow Him to navigate not only my life, but my childrens’ lives. That’s what it’s about, isn’t it? That He might increase, and I might decrease. Sometimes He needs to disrupt us to get us there.
As my children get older, they show interest in things I would never have expected. There is surrender in that, too. They are their own, unique people, made in the image of God, not subjects for me to control. Discovering who they are, watching them come into their own—so long as we as parents provide a strong backbone for foundational things—is joy and excitement and wonder. Through my three, wildly different children, I see different facets of my own relationship with the Father. I see places I want to grow, places where I am weak, things in them I admire, and things that I imagine God must want from me as His child. These are the unexpected gifts I collect along this journey of motherhood.
Still, no matter how plentiful the pivots, things need to get done. That is another gift that motherhood has given me: the gift of being an absolute boss. This is one of those places where the world’s economy is completely backwards from God’s economy. The world sees the gap in your resume as a negative space: time where your skills weren’t sharpened or applied, time where you depreciated as an employee in the workforce. Child of God, you never depreciate in God’s economy. You may, for a season, give up your worldly titles for motherhood (or you may not!), but God equips you with a million more skills. These skills are not just “fluff” skills with no use in the real world. No one multitasks like a mother. No one thinks outside the box like a mother. No one burns the midnight oil like a mother. No one manages time like a mother. No one coordinates a calendar like a mother. No one gets things done, no matter what, like a mother. After a decade of being a stay-at-home mom, the Holy Spirit being my personal mentor, I reentered the workforce with more skill and value than before. I have motherhood to thank for that.
These tiresome, mundane, ordinary, chaotically interrupted days of motherhood sure don’t feel glamorous; but they are gloriously dripping with revelation of God, if we have eyes to see and ears to hear. I’m not so inclined to “ride the wave,” naturally, but I would miss out on a whole lot of life if not for its pivots. So, I wish you the gift of pivots today, and the creativity that unleashes. I wish you the gift of your plans falling apart, that they may make room for God’s plans to unfold. I wish you the gift of surrender, that you may trade in control for the ride of a lifetime, as the Lord directs your steps, the Holy Spirit mentors you, and His word lights your path. May your days be guided by Him, and may you be an absolute boss for His kingdom.