BY PASTOR SHARON ORTIZ, PASTOR OF EDUCATION
I was eight years old when I met Jesus personally. I remember that even at a young age, I felt a deep loneliness within. I had a wonderful family—loving parents, the best sister in the world, every material need met—but loneliness was a constant companion.
I was an immigrant, living in a wealthy, predominantly white community. While I made friends at school, I was aware that they were part of that demographic, while I was not. We happened to attend that school district because it was where the seminary my dad attended was situated. Upon graduating from seminary, my dad planted a church with seven people at our first service. As our church grew, it grew primarily with adults. I have the highest respect for my dad and the work he sowed into the Kingdom, but it meant I didn’t grow up with friends at church. I was jealous of other churches and their youth groups, wondering what it must feel like to have that kind of friendship. I was even jealous of the adults at our now-thriving church and the peer-companionship they had in one another. Perhaps for these reasons, and others which were beyond my comprehension at the time, I remember carrying a loneliness beneath the carefree pretense of childhood.
It was that very loneliness, however, that drove me to seek God for myself and meet Him in a powerful way. One summer, we attended a Vacation Bible School (VBS) at my cousin’s church. The Holy Spirit was stirring and the worship leader was sensitive to his leading. She invited all of us children down to the altar as we sang the old hymn, Jesus Loves Me This I Know. As we repeated the chorus again and again—”Yes, Jesus loves me. Yes, Jesus loves me”—I wanted to know this love for real. I asked God, “God, if you are real, please show me.” Immediately, I felt what I can only describe as a waterfall of warmth pouring over me continuously, over and over again. It was tangible. It was unearthly. I was undone as I basked in His warm, physical presence and in those glorious words, “Yes. Jesus. Loves. Me.” And I knew from that moment on that God was real.
I wish I could say that I have never felt lonely again. Quite the opposite is true. Loneliness is probably what the enemy plagues me with the most. But I have since always known that God, and His great love, are real. When I experience moments of loneliness now, it’s a reminder to fall on my knees and draw near to the One who loves me with a perfect love; a love that will never leave me nor forsake me; a love that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation will ever be able to separate me from.
Karl Barth, the great theologian, was once asked if he could summarize the profundity of all his studies. After a brief pause, seemingly taking an inventory of his life’s work, he simply answered, “Jesus loves me, this I know, for the Bible tells me so.” I believe it. I have experienced it. I am a result of it. May this simple but profound truth wash over you anew today. May we never lose the wonder of that first moment of salvation. May we always be undone in the timeless revelation: “Yes, Jesus loves me.”